Story of Golmaal returns inspired from old hindi movie 'Mujhe Meri Biwi se Bachao'

Preview of Golmaal returns

Tusshar reprises his mute character in the new film. His sister Ekta (Kareena Kapoor) is shown married to Gopal (Ajay Devgan). Ekta is a suspicious wife, very inspired by saas-bahu serials.

Mahadev (Arshad Warsi) is a police officer, who falls in love with Gopal's sister Esha (Amrita Arora). However, Gopal and Mahadev cannot stand each other.

Golamaal Returns, like the first, tells a hilarious tale as well. Gopal gets stranded in a yatch with Meera (Celina Jaitley) for a night. Knowing his wife's suspicious nature, he hides this fact from her. Instead, he says her that he was with a friend called Anthony Gonsalves.

But Ekta knows that Gopal has no such friend. So she writes a letter to Anthony Gonsalves, on the address supplied by Gopal.

Meanwhile, Gopal convices his colleague Laxman (Shreyas Talpade) to become Anthony Gonsalves and visit his home.

To make matters worse, a murder was committed on the yatch the same night that Gopal was stranded on it. Gopal becomes the prime suspect, as the victim was his colleague.

The investigating officer Mahadev's hate for Gopal aside, life becomes difficult for the latter. To make the matters worse, the fake address that he had given his wife to write to Anthony Gonsalves, turns out to be correct.

Story of Golmaal returns bear uncanny resemblense to an old hindi movie 'Mujhe Meri Biwi se Bachao' starring Kiran Kumar,

where Kiran Kumar plays role of an harassed husband (because of his wife's suspecting nature). He goes out to visit a carnival and due to power faliure force to spend night with 'tanuja' on a 'hindola'. He later lie to his wife that he spent the night at his friend Champak Bhumiya's place and give her a fake address too, unfortunately for him there is a actually a man called Champak Bhumiya staying at that particular address and visit his wife on receiving her letter. Murder angle and an inspector are also part of the story. His friend Asrani helps him out to get out of this mess.

Bollywood is running short of original ideas and source opf inspiration from Hollywood, that's why they are turing to old unpopular hindi films to copy.

Katrina laughs off Salman’s marriage plans

“I will marry next year,” that’s what the bad boy of Bollywood has been telling eveyone who keep asking him questions about his impending marriage with Katrina Kaif.

“I am so bored with this question which I have been asked so many times,” he says. “Every year I say ‘Next Year’ and this goes on.’”

However this year he sounds serious with his plans. Talking to a leading tabloid Sallu again replied, “I’m settling down in 2009 and would like to become a father immediately. ”

According to sources, Salman has also popped ‘the question’ from several quarters: from the media to guests on his show 10 Ka Dum. Akshay made it a point to ask Sallu when he was planning to marry Kat, when he appeared on Khan’s show with the actress.

But Katrina who has tasted success at the box-office recently is not as ecstatic.

She laughs off any talks of marriage. The actress says, “I think Salman said whatever he wanted to say. Let people make of it whatever they want. I have never commented on the personal side in the media. I don’t wish to start right now.”

India's Most and Least Corrupt states

It is the largest corruption survey ever undertaken in the country. The survey puts India’s states into four categories: Alarmingly Corrupt; Very Highly Corrupt; Highly Corrupt; and Moderately Corrupt

Alarmingly Corrupt
Bihar
Jammu & Kashmir
Madhya Pradesh
Uttar Pradesh

Very Highly Corrupt States
Rajasthan
Tamil Nadu

Highly Corrupt States
Karnataka
Chhattisgarh

Delhi
Jharkhand
Gujarat
Kerala
Orissa

Moderately Corrupt States
Andhra Pradesh
Haryana
Himachal Pradesh
Maharashtra
Punjab
Uttarakhand
West Bengal

Can you tell computers are male or female

Computers are Like Women Because...

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No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

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The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

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Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

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As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

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You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.

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.
.
.
.

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Computers are Like Men Because...


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In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

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They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.

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They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

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As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.

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They hear what you say, but not what you mean.


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If Titanic was directed by Bollywood director

If Titanic was directed by Bollywood director............


1) There would be 10 times as many people on the ship


2) There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a white saree and of course singing in the rain!


3) The movie would be called "Pyar Kiya To Marna Kya"



4) Hero and Heroine would float in cold water for days and still survive, but the villian would die in the first dip.


5) The iceberg would be sent by the heroine's father to teach the hero a lesson.


6) None of the women would float due to heavy designer sarees.

If some oher director was asked to direct Tare Zamin Par

With Aamir Khan's *Taare Zameen Par* appealing the masses, the actor hassurely made an impressive directorial debut. The sensitivity with which he has handled the subject is worth appreciating. However, one of the forwards related to the film being sent around on emails talks about what TZP would be like if the film was made by some other Bollywood filmmakers.

*If Karan Johar made Taare Zameen Par …

Obvious starcast: Shah Rukh Khan as the arts teacher (duh duh duh!!), Aryan Khan as the dyslexic child (even if he could not act for nuts), Rani Mukerjee as the kid's mom (assuming Kajol is unavailable), Abhishek Bachchan as the kid's dad, Amitabh Bachchan as the school principal (who cares if the role is ultra minute, he can afford it).

It would be shot in New York to appeal to the NRI audience.

The story line would obviously be different. SRK would fall for the dyslexic kid's mom. The last scene would have the mom running to the teacher rather than the kid. And again, like in so many other movies, SRK would get someone else's girl.

It would have one dance number.

The film would be titled '*Kuch Taare Zameen Par*'

*If Sanjay Leela Bhansali made Taare Zameen Par …

Obvious starcast: Salman as the teacher, Rani as the mother, Of course the whole film would be shot on elaborate sets. The school would be nothing short of Harvard University.

An orchestra would play every time anyone cried. Slow motion, different camera angles for every scene. The school uniforms would match the classroom walls even though that does not make a f***ing difference.

The film would cost INR 60 crores.

*If Farah Khan made Taare Zameen Par … *

Obvious starcast: SRK as the teacher (yawn), In the original TZP, Aamir makes an entry at the interval point. In Farah's version, SRK would be on screen on for 2.30 hrs out of the 2.45 hrs and would be introduced in the first scene itself.

The story would be changed to make sure the above happened. The focus of the film would be a teacher who helps the kid fight dyslexia. To make it a complete entertainer, there would be a romantic angle, comedy, and action thrown in. Oh idea!! Nikumbh's character likes another teacher and the kiddo helps him… throw in some comedy moments there and you have romance and comedy settled.

For action… hmm.. lemme see.. Oh yah, the kid gets kidnapped and the teacher fights the baddies to save him. Wow!! I'm quite an imaginative writer. I can see how Farah can write a film from scratch in two weeks straight.

The film posters would have a big SRK with the tiny image of the kid in the background.

*If Rakesh Roshan made Taare Zameen Par …*

Obvious starcast: Hrithik Roshan as the teacher, Since Rakesh Roshan cannot think beyond science fiction these days, this film would have that too. Instead of dyslexia, the kid would have alienositis or something, a condition induced due to him witnessing an alien abduction.

Instead of Nikumbh being an arts teacher, he would be a physics teacher, and instead of asking kids to be creative, he would ask them to challenge the cience we know.

In the scene where Nikumbh asks the kids to open their minds and make whatever they want outdoors, the kid Ishaan, instead of making a boat, would end up making a working spaceship prototype.

Nikumbh would cure the kids problem by making a full fledged version of the kid's prototype, traveling to the alien planet, and asking them to give the kid his powers back.

The film would have music by Rajesh Roshan ripped off from some world music.

The film's name would again start with a K probably '*Kuch Aliens Taaron Se Zameen Par*'.

The director would make sure Hrithik gets to show all his abilities. This would mean a scene with Roshan Jr flexing his muscles and a dance competition in the end, instead of an arts competition.

*If Priyadarshan made Taare Zameen Par … *

Obvious starcast: Akshay Kumar as the teacher, Paresh Rawal as the kid's dad.

It would be a brainless comedy. The kid's dyslexia would be made fun of. Half the times the parents will be running after the kid from one room to the other and that, in the director's opinion, would be funny.

The film will be full of sex jokes. So for example, when Akshay would come to the parents telling them that their son has dyslexia, the ignorant father would say something inappropriate like 'iss umar mein? par kaise, woh to hamesha boys school mein padha hai!'. And yes, the director would think it is funny.

In the climax of the film, all the characters in the film would run around in the amphitheater for no reason, spilling colors on each other. That's where the film will end, without any logical conclusion.

And of course, Paresh Rawal would emote like an epileptic himself, making us question the boy's mental abilities anyway.

Newton in Romantic Mood......

Universal law of Love:

" Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "


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First law of Love:

" a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy. "


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Second law of Love:

" the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance. "


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Third law of Love:

" the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping."

How to ask your boss for a salary increase

How to ask your boss for a salary increase




One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!




Dear Bo$$


In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately.


I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company



I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon


Your$ $incerely

Norman $oh





The next day, the employee received this letter of reply




Dear NOrman


I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet


NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad


I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean


Yours truly

Manager

What happens afer 6 weeks , 6 months, 6 years . . .

6 weeks , 6 months, 6 years . . .

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Dating process:

6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?

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Back from Work:

6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??

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Gifts:

6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.

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Phone Ringing:

6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.

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Cooking:

6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!

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Apology:

6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??

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New Dress:

6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?

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Planning for Vacations:

6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to India on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???

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TV:

6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself . . .

Girls are always incomplete without boys

Girls are always incomplete without boys !






WOMAN has MAN in it

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SHE has HE in it

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Mrs. Has Mr. In it

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LADY has LAD in it

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MISTRESS has MISTER in it

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MADAM has ADAM in it

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HOSTESS has HOST in it

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FEMALE has MALE in it so on the list is unending

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So No need to proud.....

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Girls are always incomplete without boys

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How much mother loves you

A date !

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie.
She said I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.

The other woman that my wife w anted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

"What's wrong, are you well," she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a sur prise invitation is a sign of bad news.

"I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you," I responded. "Just the two of us."

She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed t hat she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, "she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting".
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down,

I had to read the menu. Large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.


"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said.

"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I did to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU!" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.

Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."

Microsoft New Recruitment

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe.

5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.

500 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave.

498 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says 'Kem Chho'

The other candidate answers 'Ek Dam Majama'

Most Funny Store Names

You must know abou date rape drug

all girls should be very careful while it comes to taking any liquid . Because you need to know about the new date rape drug in he market.

Date rape drug refers to any drug that can be used to assist in the commission of a sexual assault (date rape). The definition of the term is not absolute, because every drug that has been used for this purpose also has been taken willingly by people in some other situations. Date rape drugs commonly have sedative, hypnotic, dissociative, and/or amnesiac effects, and, when used to facilitate rape, are often added to a food or drink without the victim’s knowledge.

Two drugs often referred to as date rape drugs are GHB, also known as gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid, and benzodiazepines (such as flunitrazepam, also known as Rohypnol or “roofies”); however, alcohol still remains the drug most frequently-implicated in substance-assisted sexual assault.

These drugs can be extremely dangerous when administered to an individual not aware of the drugging, and it may kill or render the victim comatose, especially in large doses or in combination with other drugs or alcohol. Drug allergies and interactions are also a possibility. Drug effects can be amplified in a certain percentage of the population that lack enzymes normally found in drug metabolism.

Please ensure that you donot sip dring if i is brought by some one else. Recently in los of cases very close friends have used these drugs to sexually assault their female friends

Top Twenty Employers in IT ITES

If you are looking to work for top 20 employers in India and donot know which company to join Please check the following list.


Tata Consultancy Services
Infosys Technologies
Wipro Technologies
IBM
HCL Technologies
Accenture
Cognizant
Satyam Computer Services
Hewlett Packard
Genpact
Oracle
Intelenet Global Services*
WNS Global Services*
Mphasis
Patni Computer Systems
Convergys
Firstsource Solutions*
Sutherland Global Services*
Citigroup Global Services*
Aegis BPO Services*
ExlService Holdings*
L&T Infotech

Know about Bonds before joining a Job

A guy was asked in his interview with one of the biggest IT organisation in India whether having a bond of Rs. 50000 helps in retaining employees, his answer was straight forward “jisko jaana hain woh to jayega hi, having a bond or not doesn’t matter”. The guy was rejected in the interview; perhaps he did a good to himself by not joining a company which forces employees to stay using threat means like bond. But the case for having a employee bond cannot be ruled out completely, if there are employers who believe in exploiting employees there are disloyal employees too. It is fair for companies, which invest a lot in training to have a moral bond. But in no case it should be used as a means to torture employees, if you have a bond with your employer but you are not getting any work (on bench) or you are not happy with your work, it makes sense to leave. If you cant work/live happily with your present employer, your productivity would be low any way, making your employer unhappy.
I don’t recommend breaking a bond but in extreme cases if you wish to, understand the pros and cons well. There are several pros and cons, which are related to breaking bond:

Cons:
1) The employer may chase you to court, I have heard Satyam doing so, Infy has quite good policies in this regard, and they may not trouble you much. Indian law does not permit Bonded Labor; the case can be fought on the basis of money spent on training by employer. Companies, which have big training batches, can go to court, they may lose the case, but it can cost your time and energy. Be careful, as some employers have started viewing breaking bond as a serious offense. It does put a question mark on your resume.
2) You may require experience letter and relieving letter, which you may not get if you break a bond. You can require experience certificate when applying for VISA, MBA or admission to any foreign university. If you go for a job it may not be required, but if a company asks for reference from your old company, whom will look for? If you broke the bond, you cannot have good relations with them.
3) Third reason is more of ethical issues/professional behavior, you get back what you give, if you chose to break the bond today, tomorrow when you start your own company, your first employee may do the same (you have already set an example for him). And it is better to have good relations with everyone, you never know what help you may need in future.

Pros:

1) You can break free from something you never wanted to do, you don’t have to work just because you have a bond, all this can act as positive boost. Very similar to what happens after divorce.
2) Your new company may be prove to be your dream company.
3) Be careful and preserve your offer letter and pay slips, it can come handy when you are asked to prove your experience, imagine during an interview you are asked why the gap is there in your resume.